The Value of Self-Esteem

The conversation around self-esteem persists. For decades, self-esteem has been the buzz term in relation to living our best lives and embodying well-being. The spiel on personal development never fails to remind us that building a healthy foundation of self-esteem is the secret key to a fulfilling life. So, what is the magic behind self-esteem? It all lies in the way it shapes our perspective about our lives.

The Basics of Self-Esteem

The reason self-esteem has fostered and maintained the reputation of being one of the most, if not the single most important factor in flourishing is that it has been proven through research to have a direct relationship with and effect on our well-being. Isn’t that what we’re all working toward? Living a life that makes us feel good seems to be the ultimate goal. Whether we’re focused on personal growth or our sex life, feeling good is the priority.

The catch is that feeling good and maintaining well-being depend on the quality of your persistent attitude and beliefs. The journey is the goal, as they say. Having high self-esteem is an internal tool that can help keep things bright along the journey.

In a few words, self-esteem pertains to a person’s comprehensive sense of worth or value. We spend a lot of our time concerned about our relationships. Are we dedicating enough thought and effort to the relationship with our Self? Your level of self-esteem can be interpreted as a clear indication of how much you like yourself. Take a moment to reflect on your attitude toward yourself. Do you approve of yourself? Appreciate who you are and what you bring to the table? These are questions we often answer in regard to others. When you put yourself in the hot seat, what do you find?

There is a plethora of factors that influences our self-esteem. This is why it is vital that we take a closer look at our inner experience. Some of the critical determinants of self-esteem levels include:

  • Life experiences
  • Genetics
  • Age
  • Personality
  • Social circumstances
  • Comparing the self to others
  • Thoughts

These are just a few of the many ingredients in your self-esteem soup. The most important thing to take away from this sample is the fact that some factors are malleable. Self-esteem is not fixed. You have the power to improve your self-esteem at any stage of life. If we look at the construct of self-esteem under a microscope, we find that it is the combination of what we feel, think, and believe about ourselves. The obstacle is that our beliefs are often deeply ingrained, and our thoughts can be tricky. The good news, however, is that we can reshape our beliefs and work with our thoughts so that they serve us rather than vice versa.

Understanding the nature of self-esteem and how it can help us enhance the quality of our experience is essential. Rather than reinforcing the misleading idea that self-esteem is simply a facade of confidence, we can work individually to develop genuine high self-esteem at our core and let it brighten our shine.

Benefits of High Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is not the sole way we relate to ourselves, but it is a handy tool to have in the kit. Nourishing high self-esteem that is authentic and congruent with who you know yourself to be can strengthen your well-being and lead to a sincere experience of flourishing.

The benefits you stand to gain from building high self-esteem are subjective as your experience is unique. Some of the benefits you may notice in different areas of your life include:

  • A sense of fulfillment and meaning in your life and growth process
  • A heightened desire to be true to yourself. Making decisions based on your needs and wants. Consciously conforming to the requests of others only when it feels right.
  • Feeling more comfortable and confident to speak your truth and express your needs and wants.
  • Greater clarity in terms of seeing the world realistically, accepting yourself and others, and focusing on priorities.
  • Increased respect and love in relationships.
  • Appreciation of the present moment.
  • Embracing a wide range of both positive and negative emotions and expressing them in a healthy manner.
  • Ability to hear, absorb, and transform criticism or feedback without taking it personally.
  • Investing time and energy into raising your self-esteem levels is a worthwhile endeavor that will serve you well in the long run.

How to Boost Your Self-Esteem

Like all exercises in self-development, boosting your self-esteem is something you can work on by yourself or with help. Enlisting the help of Life Mentor or engaging in therapy online can create a space in which you can explore your self-esteem while having your experience mirrored back to you with supplemental insight. Either way, it’s useful to make a conscious decision to improve your self-esteem.

As you prepare to boost your self-esteem, make sure to check in with your attitude. Remember, the way you perceive things is the key to understanding what changes and tweaks need to be made to achieve a sense of well-being. In order to raise your self-esteem levels, it’s important to:

  • Stay mindful. Practice self-awareness, be honest with yourself, and monitor your self-talk.
  • Change your personal narrative. Identify the story you tell about your core self. Notice the automatic negative thoughts present and begin the process of purposely stopping and reshaping them. Create a story that serves who you want to be.
  • Let go of the compulsive practice of comparing yourself to others. It’s a societal trap. You’re allowed to disengage. Channel that energy into accepting yourself.
  • Embrace your strengths. Dig deep, find the things that make you feel good, and let yourself shine. When do you feel best about yourself? Do more of that.
  • Prioritize self-care. Create a routine or collection of practices that helps you refill your cup. Consider reorganizing your life so that you give to others from your overfill.
  • Remember that you are not the circumstances in which you find yourself. Your worthiness simply is. It does not depend on anything external.
  • Forgive yourself and others. Lighten your load and greet each day with gratitude and compassion.

The Takeaway

Self-esteem is a tool to help you flourish and live a life full of meaning. Check in with how you value yourself, ground in mindful self-awareness, and let your higher self-esteem transform into self-love that spills over into all areas of your life.

Dr. George Lagios

PhD, M.Sc. (CBT)

Dr. George Lagios holds a master’s degree in psychology, specifically in cognitive behavioural therapy, and a PhD in sexology. He is a professor of Psychosexual Therapy and author of two best sellers Would You Choose You as Your Parent? (2018) and Inside Your Mind (2020). He is also a clinical mental health counselor, psychotherapist and speaker. He has received the President’s Achievement Award from the Hellenic American Association and continues his research work on erotic desire.

For the 1st time

a hybrid sexual intelligence event.

Dr. George Lagios

Inside Your Mind LIVE

The psychology of love, love and sex

11 October 2021, 20:00


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